9. war torture witchhunts comics christians irish & praying for peace

Ok I feel a little better. I just went round & closed all the storm windows. It's so fuckin cold! What's the point of having double-windows if you're not gonna use em? And I hear our heat bills are gonna like quadruple this winter. Big surprise, that.
I accidentally watched part of the news again tonight. I don't read all those political & war stories on msn, but when Brian Williams is talking, I gotta listen. And I just can't believe the shit I'm hearing. When, if ever, is the u.s. allowed to use torture? It's hard for me to hear these debates.
I have so many problems with my government. I'm probably a socialist or communist at heart, and they can hang me for it if they want.
If I'd lived in Europe in the 1500's, I would have been burned at the stake, for sure.
This guy on the news even said, calmly and rationally, "Torture does NOT get the answers we need. The tortured will give whatever answer he thinks will stop the torture, but it is almost never true, or he doesn't have the information we need!" no shit!! He also said that we are not to sink the "their level" and that's what I been trying to tell everybody.

Back before we had internet, if I wanted to learn about any subject, I'd go to the local library. When my mama worked downtown, I'd sometimes walk to her office after school & hang around. She'd give me a quarter & I'd go to the drugstore & get an ice-cream-cone, or maybe go to the dimestore & buy a ring, or bubble gum, or a comic book. That town was MUCH smaller then, and all these places were within 2 itty-bitty blocks! One day in the 4th grade, I asked her if we could go to the library & fill out the necessary paperwork so I could check out my own books, like my brother & sister did? and of course, she thought that was a great idea!
I still remember the first book I checked out - Charlotte's Web. It made me cry. I was 8. From then on, if I went to Mama's office after school, I stayed at the library till 5:00. End of story.
Around the 8th grade, I noticed all those "non-fiction" sections just waiting to be ravaged.
History. Other versions of what happened.
Biographies. Not just the ones your teacher made you do a report on.
Religion. Not just Baptist. Not even just Christian.
Art. Naked abstracts and surrealism. And lots of black-n-white photos...
A few books on the inquisition & witch-hunts cauterized much of my thinking on torture AND christianity.
I learned not to talk to Mama about EVERY book I read...

This has been my number one complaint since the beginning of this war:
I have trouble accepting that we have not evolved beyond war. Beyond violence.
Now my complaints are adding up. I can't talk about them at work, where everyone is a christian-american who is against abortion and for war. I can't talk about them with most of my family members, who end up being sad that I'm going to hell, even though they agree with me about most things.
My number 2 complaint is this:
I am not being represented by my government. My only right seems to be the right to blog. And that's only because nobody reads it...
My newest complaint, numero tres:
Where the hell was the USA when our mother-fucking-forefathers-and-kinsmen, the northern irish, were killing and terrorizing each other, (are they still? who ever even cared about that?) just in the what - 70's & 80's? I'm going to educate myself on all that shit in the next few days...
We can go all over the goddam world to "protect human rights"-hahahahaha! but we can't take care of ourselves, each other, our neighbors, (MEXICO? Guatemala? anybody ever heard of those little places where nothing good is happening????)
I tried learning a little about vietnam, the war of my childhood, but it just made me sicker, sadder, and scareder. I already know more about the current war than I want to. I do NOT trust the stupid Rich White Guys In Charge to do what's best for me, or anybody I know.
I prayed for peace from the time I was 6.
I gave up.
hope it's over soon,
azb